Letter to the editor

3 12 2008

To whom it may concern:

It was with great consternation this afternoon that I noticed the appearance of a large yellow ball in the sky. Some of my neighbours, who are much older than I, reliably report that this orb is called the “sun”, and that it ostensibly provides warmth and nourishment for plants and other growing things. To which I retort: if this “sun” is good for you, why can you not look at it without risking blindness? Small children and household pets are being frightened by this unfamiliar object! Something must be done!

I call upon the government of the day – if we ever have one again – to act quickly to protect us and our children from this yellow scourge. We are counting on you to ensure that a comforting grey umbrella of cloud will remain over us not only now but for many years to come.

Sincerely,
Edna Moncrief (Mrs.)

P.S.: Neighbourhood street hockey players are hereby given notice: any tennis ball found on my property will be confiscated and either sold for milk money or fed to Patches, my omnivorous and woefully near-sighted dog.

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4 responses

3 12 2008
Bill_S

Geez, you’re getting cranky in your old age. You used to play street hockey. Remember, we were young men once.

3 12 2008
davetill

Hi Bill – I wasn’t being serious – just trying to write in the style of one those cranky old ladies on Monty Python. Not sure whether I pulled it off.

I played street hockey back in May, in the Danforth road hockey tournament – I’m getting *almost* too old for this sort of thing…

3 12 2008
Bill_S

In re-reading, I see that I just missed it. Still getting over the shock of my GPS thing telling me that my house had been teleported to Guam.

3 12 2008
davetill

Guam is probably very nice this time of year. Your GPS is indulging in wishful thinking.

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