Advice to the lovelorn

16 02 2009

Three years ago, I tried speed dating – for a variety of reasons, it’s an experiment I’ll never repeat. I’m still on their emailing list, so I receive regular messages providing tips on how to date. I never read them, as they can be summarized as follows:

  • You need to be confident in order to make a good impression in the dating market.
  • To develop confidence, you need to acquire experience – which you can only obtain if you have made a good impression in the dating market.

The subject headers of these messages make for fascinating reading, as they contain so many rhetorical questions. Here are some examples:

  • What is healthy communication?
  • What is your relationship to love?
  • Is your self-esteem as high as it should be?
  • Is fear holding you back?
  • Have you looked ahead at 2009?
  • How far did you get in 2008?
  • What is trust?
  • Is fear of commitment holding you back?
  • What did you learn in your 20s?
  • Are you ready to fall in love?
  • Are you a great conversationalist?
  • Is shyness affecting your dating life?
  • What’s the point of being single?
  • Are you dating the wrong person?
  • Are you on the rebound?
  • Do you know what makes a great first kiss?
  • Isn’t it time you found your mate?
  • Do you know the Do’s and Don’ts of New Year’s?
  • Are you ready for a relationship?

And my favourite:

  • What is your body saying?

I assume the correct answer to the last question is not, “Perhaps eating all of the fried chicken was not an especially good idea.”

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