Cover letter as love letter

So I got an email message the other day from a job posting web site with this as its title:

Career Advice: Treat your cover letter like a love letter

I’m wondering how this would work.

Dear Sir or Madam or Hiring Manager (apologies for not having researched your name):

I normally consider myself a person of restrained passions and rigid self-control. But when I saw your job posting for an Intermediate Business Development Analyst (Level 2), I felt stirrings that I had never experienced before. At first, I suspected indigestion, or perhaps a fit of melancholy. But when my heart leaped like a bird after reading the Skills and Requirements section, I realized that I am now head over heels in love with your job opportunity. My very essence cries, “Yes! Yes!”

For you, my only love, of course I will be a team player! I will work the occasional required evenings and weekends, and I will do it with joy in my heart! And, yes, every relationship has its trials and tribulations – its additional duties as required – but I will endure them with gladness! For I have found my true purpose, my alpha and omega, my guiding light, my shining star – you. Yes, you, Monolithic Business Corporation – I am yours, now and forever.

References available on request.

Sincerely yours,
A. N. Applicant

Nah – on second thought, I don’t think it would work. In fact, I feel a bit unclean now. This calls for intense medicine to purge the bad feelings:

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