Shiny happy condo people (a photo essay of sorts)

4 03 2012

I went for a long walk today – the endorphins helped clear up a down mood – and was utterly fascinated by a series of artist’s renderings of condominium living at the corner of Sheppard and Don Mills. First, check out the swimming pool area:

Of course, the men and women in this picture are young and in perfect shape. Notice the man swimming laps in the pool. This is actually something of a challenge, as the pool is only about forty feet long. He’d have to switch direction about every five strokes or so.

There’s lots of other perfect young people, aged 18-34 I’m sure, in the pool room:

Note the significant number of attractive young women lounging around the pool or the deck. Two girls for every boy!

Take a closer look at the couple:

Has he got his hand on her ass? Seriously?

Now, let’s move to the living area:

By now, you’ll have noticed a trend: young, fit people. The view from Sheppard and Don Mills is mostly of the 16 lanes of traffic in the 401, but what the hey.

A note at the bottom right of this picture reminds us that this is an “Artist’s Concept”:

Real people do not look like this – and, if they do, it’s only for about two months or so in their mid-twenties.

When you look at the lobby, you will begin to notice something else:

Everyone in this picture is white. Very, very white. Young, fit, well-dressed and white. I’m 51 years old and usually very casually dressed; I doubt they’d let me into the building.

Actually, there’s one woman in one of the pictures who might be Asian or part Asian:

Or maybe not. I’m not quite sure.

In the background, you can see the concierge:

He’s a white guy too – but, judging by his haircut and his nose, I would guess that he is the class nerd.

Take a closer look at the dude on the right:

Note his short haircut, his shitkicker boots, and his shirt unbuttoned to nearly his waist. He looks like one of the Wild and Crazy Guys from the old Saturday Night Live, going out to meet “foxes”.

Last but not least, there’s the condo ad itself, featuring a Winsome Condo Woman Of Your Dreams [tm]:

Could this be more transparently obvious? Buy this condo and you will meet hot women. How profoundly depressing, especially if anybody believes this.

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