How the other half lives (alumni division)

25 06 2012

So I got a letter today from my alma mater, the University of Waterloo. I don’t look forward to these letters, as they are usually pleas for money. Today’s was similar, but different – it was an offer for group insurance. But reading it reminded me that my life path has deviated somewhat from that of many of my fellow graduates. (No complaints, though – my life is good. I have my health and no debt.)

Some excerpts, and my immediate responses:

Thanks to a special agreement between University of Waterloo and [name of bank-related insurance company], our alumni have access to preferred group rates on their home and auto insurance.

Thanks, University of Waterloo, but I do not own a home or a car.

Personal service makes such a difference. [Company] insurance experts will take the time to explore the different options available to you.

I’ll bet they will. They’re salespersons, dontcha know.

As Canada’s leading provider of group home and auto insurance, [name of company] is committed to offering you valuable insurance products for your home, car, motorcycle, ATV, snowmobile and more.

I don’t have a motorcycle, an ATV, or a snowmobile. If they wanted to provide useful insurance, could they insure me against repeated unwanted Internet service outages?

Simply for requesting a quote, your name will automatically be entered in the TD Insurance national contest for a chance to win a Lexus RX 450h, or $60,000 cash.

I would never drive a Lexus, or indeed any car – a car costs several thousand a year to own and maintain, and I’m already behind on saving for my retirement. The $60,000 cash would come in more than handy, though.

I am trying to grasp the concept of a car that costs in the neighbourhood of $60,000. Like I said, I have no complaints about my life or my financial situation, but: I find it incomprehensible to have enough spare disposable cash to consider spending that much on a vehicle. Hey, I feel vaguely guilty when I drop $30 at a restaurant. I guess we are moving rapidly towards a two-tier society, aren’t we?

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